Being a career minded person I decided to take off 9 months maternity leave, looking back now I should have taken a year. You know that the day is coming and suddenly it’s 3 months away, then it’s 2 weeks and before you know it it’s here! You know the feeling you get from a two week holiday and those thoughts whilst in bed on the Sunday night knowing you are going back to work on the Monday? – now times that by a million!
Nothing can possibly describe the thoughts and feelings of a mother going back to work after having time off for maternity leave with their little one. It certainly is a mixed bag of emotions; the guilt, the missing, the unknown and wondering if you will remember everything. Will my little girl know who I am anymore? will she like the nursery ladies more than me? Will she fall over and need me for cuddles? will she miss me as much as I miss her! will she take her milk ok?
Going back to work full time was hard. The first few days were spent mostly in the ladies crying and trying to compose myself and restraining the urge to call the nursery to see how she was doing. Nobody understood what was going on in my head those first few weeks, why should they, they hadn’t just had a baby and been through the biggest emotional journey of theirs lives.
She was of course fine, she has made great little friends, experienced so many new things, touch, taste and playing in the Forest School and in fact it was just me that had the problem and worry, where as Jessica was experiencing everything new for the first time and absolutely loving it!
She has been in the nursery now a year and it certainly has turned her into a confident little girl who is happy to navigate any playground, stand her ground and share toys. She has learnt so much there and the time with other children she has experienced is something I could never have given her.
Fortunately I moved on to pastures new and am now a contract Graphic Designer, which works out better for me and Jessica and the time we do spend together is so special now.